Secret Love
by Lady Crux
Summary: Sakuras has been an Akatsuki since she was nineteen, she's over Sasuke & she in love with someone else who still doesn't see her feelings. Her escape from her cursed life is granted. Saku x Pein. One-shot


_**(Boy, you're so hard to believe) **_

_**Yeah, yeah, yeah**_

_**Uh... no..**_

_**(Boy, you're so hard to believe)**_

Sakura quickly cut a small chunk of long pink hair, placing her left hand on top of the thick strands. Angling the kunai to where it cut into only cut the one finger, slowly she eased the blade into the flesh, moving through the meat, she hissed in pain as she added pressure when she hit the bone sliding through the her entire middle finger. She watched as the ring with the Hokuto kanji fell off and onto the vanity. Quickly her medic side kicked in causing her to begin the healing process right then.

_**Just a friend **_

_**That's all I've ever been to you **_

_**Oh, just a girl **_

_**Who wants to be the center of your world **_

An hour and a half later she collapsed onto the floor from exhaustion, carefully she grabbed onto the vanity table with a firm grip & pulled herself up. Examining her left middle finger where the ring that connected her thoughts with him had once been, finding that it looked as good as new she walked over to the bathroom hoping she could regain her energy with a nice hot shower.

_**But I ain't got much to offer but my heart and soul **_

_**And I guess that's not enough for you to notice me **_

_**I'm just your girl **_

_**And I guess that's all I'll ever be to you **_

_**To you, you**_

As she walked down the stairs she spotted her leader, her god, he hadn't seen her yet, only because he was preoccupied with his date. Today was the Annual Valentine's Day Ball, all the Akatsuki, recruits, & followers would be here at the hide out dressed in their finest attire, he was wearing an all black suit no tie, no bow, an all silk shirt, with the finest cotton pants & jacket. His bright auburn hair made him easy to spot.

_**I try to smile when I see other girls with you **_

_**Acting like everything is okay **_

_**But, oh **_

_**You don't know how it feels to be so in love **_

_**With someone who doesn't even know **_

_**My secret love **_

As she walked towards him clad in her jade colored long floor length satin dress flowed behind, in an instant she was at her sister's side.

"Sakura-chan you look gorgeous." Said an excited Konan as she smoothed out her silver colored satin floor length dress.

"Arigato, I have to say the same about you I'm sure Hidan won't be able to not look away from you this time." She replied

"Arigato Sakura-chan." Konan observed Sakuras form her dress clinging to every curve she had, the jade colored sequins sparkling in the lights. Her black nails with the green tips matching her attire, but her eyes 

widened at the sight of her ring less middle finger. Pulling the younger girl to the side Konan began to talk in a hushed voice.

"Sakura please don't tell me you've come to this." Konan said as she lifted Sakuras left hand up.

"I'm sorry but I can't do it anymore, I'm just tired of it all." Sakura replied

"Please just give him sometime he'll come around when he realizes your feelings for him."

"Konan I given him enough time, I don't know what more I can do to make it simple for him to realize."

"When are you leaving?"

"After the ball I already packed I just wanted to see everyone one last time before I left."

"Very well then." Konan said as she dragged Sakura towards their leaders.

"Ah Sakura-chan you look lovely tonight." Madara said as he nodded in her direction.

_**In my dreams **_

_**I see us both together constantly **_

_**Why can't you see **_

_**This love that's here for you, inside of me (oh yeah) **_

_**What do I have to do for you to notice this **_

Sakura walked outside onto the balcony, the party was still as lively as ever. Three hours had passed since she and Konan had their little talk, she was just waiting for him like she always did. Throughout the whole part he hadn't even casted her single glance, this causing her to become even more heartbroken than she already was. She only came out here because she needed some fresh air, she felt like she was gonna faint at any second; she knew why she felt this was too, he had brought another girl here, & ignored her. She was positive all the other members had realized it was her last night, everyone of them had came to say their goodbyes to her, they had become her brothers her friends, and they even tried to help her get the man she was in love with.

"Beautiful night don't you think." A husky voice said,

She knew that voice anywhere, he had finally came

"Yeah." Sakura said as she turned around to face him jade met grey as she faced him.

"You look beautiful tonight Sakura." Pein said as he walked over to stand by her

"Arigato." Sakura said as she turned back around as she leaned on the balcony rail.

"Why have you escaped from the party."

"I need to breathe."

"Ah."

"What about you."

"I came to see where you disappeared to."

"Why?"

"Well it's odd for you to be out here when there's a full bar inside."

"Yeah well I quit drinking when I turned 21."

"I didn't know that."

Sakura sighed she knew, that if she stayed out here with him it would only make her change her mind about leaving.

_**You look at her with love with me it's just friendship **_

_**I'm just your girl **_

_**And I guess that's all I'll ever be to you **_

_**To you, whoa**_

She had turned around to leave when a hand had wrapped around her upper arm, she looked over should to see that her leader was staring intently at her.

"What's wrong?" Pein asked as he let go of her arm

"Nothing I'm just tired that all." Sakura said

"Sakura, who hurt you this time?"

"Pein, I guess I should've listened to my brain instead of my heart…..cause it really doesn't matter anymore about who did." Sakura said before she turned back around & walked into the ballroom, before he could see her tears fall.

_**I try to smile when I see other girls with you (with you)**_

_**Acting like everything is okay **_

_**But, oh **_

_**You don't know how it feels to be so in love **_

_**With someone who doesn't even know **_

_**My secret love (my secret love) **_

Sakura bumped into Konan on her way to her room. Konan could tell that Sakura was on the verge of tears, so she pulled her into a tight hug.

"What happened?" Konan asked

"I have to leave now……he still doesn't see I can't go on like this anymore." Sakura said as she broke down crying in the older woman's arms.

"Shh….everything's alright, Sakura please don't leave he's an idiot for not being able to see you feelings, but please don't leave, there's always the next guy."

"No there isn't a next guy, there never will be if I stay, I'll grow old & never know what it feels like to be loved by someone, or what it feels like to be a mom, I want that but kami-sama just doesn't think I deserve it for some reason."

Konan let go of Sakura knowing that she was right every guy she had ever fallen for never felt the same way, & now she was just tired of it all, the gorgeous woman in front of her had the worst luck in the world when it came to love. She watched as Sakura ran past her & up the stairs, she was going to go back to Konoha she was turning herself in just so she could leave her cursed life behind.

Pein had watched Sakura break down in Konans arms, he couldn't tell what they were talking about but he knew that she was planning something he just didn't know what exactly. He slowly made his way up the large staircase

_**What do you see in her **_

_**You don't see in me (don't see in me) **_

_**Boy, you're so hard to believe (boy, you're so hard to believe) **_

_**Why do you show her love but there's none for me **_

_**Boy, you don't make sense to me **_

_**Is it cause I don't have much to offer but my heart and soul **_

_**And I guess that's not enough for you to notice me **_

_**I'm just your girl **_

_**And I guess that's all I'll ever be to you **_

_**To you, you, you... **_

Opening the cherry blossoms bedroom door, he walked in to find her walking out of the bathroom. Her wet long wet candy colored hair clung to her skin, she was now only in a black kimono.

"What are you doing in here?" Sakura asked

"Your leaving?" Pein asked as he looked around the room finding all her stuff packed in duffle bags.

"I am."

"Why? You have nowhere to go, especially now since you became one of us, they'll kill you on sight." Pein said as he took a seat on the bed

"I know, but I can't live like this anymore."

"Like what, Sakura we've given you everything you've ever asked for isn't that enough?"

"Pein I'm sorry but……I just have to before I end up dying from a broken heart."

"Sakura, you're not making any sense."  
Sakura walked over to where Pein sat, taking a seat next to him."

"No I make sense you're just to blind to see what I'm talking about."

"Then help me see."

"I've tried to……I've made it simple as hell for you and you still don't see."

Sakura picked up the box on the night stand handing it over to Pein, she watched as he opened it & pulled out the ring that once belonged to Kakazu

"Sakura, just tell me in plain simple words."

"Words can't describe what I'm feeling right now."

"Then show me."

Sakura looked into Pein black ringed eyes, confusion, desperateness, pleading, and many more emotions filled them, it wasn't often he showed emotion but she knew that when he did it was something she would melt in. Her hand came up to caress his cheek, making him relax & close his eyes. Quickly she leaned over, brushing her lips against his gently before she began to speak.

"I cannot stay because I cannot sit & watch you love other women."

She pulled back & stood up, a hand shot out gripping her wrist firmly. He stood up, she silently prayed that she had made the message clear.

"Sakura, the feelings you have for me are flattering, but I'm sorry."

"Yeah I know."

"I don't deserve someone like you, I don't want to-

"Hurt me, I know, I've heard this speech one too many times."

"I'm sure there's someone out there who will give you what I cannot."

"No, you're wrong, because I've tried but they all say the same thing as you so please just let me leave."

"If I let you go you'll only get yourself killed."

"But it's what I want, I don't want to live a life of loneliness, I'm tired of hearing people say that they're sorry."

Her body began to shake, she didn't care if he saw her like this, she had been holding back tears of heart break for years & now she couldn't keep them in. Every time she fell for a guy, she would only hear the same thing, they're sorry, they don't deserve her, there's always the next guy. It wasn't fair every time she fell for a guy, she had her heart broken, and she couldn't understand what was wrong with her.

She was pushed onto the bed, Pein crouched in front of her, she didn't know when he moved but she didn't care.

"You know you're the only person in the world who can still look gorgeous when crying." Pein said

"If I'm as beautiful as people say then why don't they love me?"

"It's not that they don't, you Sakura are the only woman in this world that deserves better than what this world has to offer, your innocence, your beauty, your perfect smile, your heart, no man should have. The world doesn't hate you, if you could just see what I see then you'd understand me."

Sakura locked eyes with him, she couldn't wait any longer she needed the pain to leave.

"Kill me please." Sakura said

"What."

"You said it yourself, I deserve better than what this world has to offer, if I can't find love in this world then let me leave to the next."

She reached over to the nightstand, opening the drawer, she pulled out a syringe with a black poison, and she handed it to him

"Sakura-

"Please Pein, the pain from a heart break is unbearable."

Pein stood up, syringe in hand, he hears her stand up as well. Turning back around he held Sakura in his arms for the last time. Taking the needle she handed him, he tilted her neck, gently stabbing her with the needle, he pushed the poison into her system.

It only took a minute for the poison to begin working she could feel her body shutting down, her heart pace fastened, then it slowed, Pein hold on her tightened around her, he moved them onto the floor, cradling her. The world around her was darkened, her eyelids became heavier, and heavier.

He felt her heart beat slow, her eyelids slowly close, and she was gone in a matter of seconds. Looking at her beautiful face he push her hair out of her face, even death couldn't take away her beauty. It wasn't supposed to happen this was, he wanted her there with him at his side forever, her smile, her laughter, wasn't gonna be there when he needed it. He pushed her to far, he made her wait to long, now he had no one to be with when this war ended, she wouldn't be the one who would he would live forever with, she wouldn't be the one he died with, the one to have his children. He shouldn't have made her wait, not even he knew how long it would be till he got the Kyubi, he should've told her when he still had the chance. She was his secret love, and now she was gone because he never told her he knew & he felt the same. The love of his life was gone now.

_**Boy, you're so hard to believe **_


End file.
